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Thursday, June 29, 2006

People Magazine Names Sexiest Man Alive 2006


Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi has been name People Magazine's sexiest man alive for 2006.

President and Mrs. Bush hosted a formal White House dinner tonight to honor Koizumi who will leave office in September after serving as Prime Minister for five years.

As a token, the Bushes gave Koizumi, an avowed Elvis fan, a vintage jukebox which contained twenty five Elvis tracks. Koizumi selected `I Want You, I Need You, I Love You,' and shared a soulful duet with the President.

First Lady Laura Bush reflected on the duet, " I have to say that was one of the most touching moments of the entire Presidency. My husband rarely gets so touchy feely with small Japanese men. But, something about this small Japanese man is just so darn sexy."

After the ballad was over, the real fun began when Koizumi selected, "You ain't nothin but a hound dog" on the jukebox and began singing and widely gyrating his hips in pure Elvis fashion.
The room erupted in feminine shrieks of delight and several women fainted from the pure waves of sexiness that were radiating throughout the room.

Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice had a front row seat for the show. She later told reporters, "Maybe I've just had a little too much champagne, but all I can say is 'Grrr, Tiger.'"

As Koizumi sang the line, "You said you was high class, but that was just a lie." he gyrated over in from of Lynn Cheney, wife of Vice President Dick Cheney. Ms. Cheney had to fan herself rigorously with her napkin and later said, "I couldn't help myself. I was overcome with his pure sex appeal."

Secretary of Labor, Elaine L. Chao was overheard whispering to a friend that Koizumi was "one piece of prime Japanese Kobe beef."

The crowd was so enchanted with Koizumi's rendition of "Hound dog," they started shouting out their request. Before the night was over, Koizumi had delighted the White House audience with such Elvis classics as a heartfelt crooning of "Blue Christmas" and a foot stomping romp of "Heart Break Hotel." His dance moves during his grand finale performance of "All Shook Up" represented the ultimate in sexiness and had the women in the room (and some of the men) panting for mercy.

People Magazine caught up with Koizumi after the dinner and presented him with his "Sexiest Man of the Year" award. When reporters asked him what he felt was the secret behind his record sex appeal, Koizumi laughed and said, "Isn't it obvious? It's my sexy luxurious locks."

7 comments:

Bill said...

Thanks for checking out my blog, I really liked this post of your also. I mean, I think we can all relate with not being able to sway with small japanese men enough:P

Hope those birkenstocks are treating you well.

jbwritergirl said...

The Japanese are usually under the radar when it comes to sexiness because 1) they are two short to stand out in a crowd and 2) they are two short to stand out in a crowd.

Love your humor, look forward to keeping up with your blog. I shall add a link on my site so others can enjoy your humor as well.

PS: your website is a crack up. amazing what you can come up with when sleep deprivation kicks in. Bravo!

COxford said...

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Woozie said...

Well he is a sexy beast. Keep your pimp hand strong Koizumi!

ChiefMommy Owl said...

Which ranking are you looking at coxford?

Leilouta said...

Woozie said...
Well he is a sexy beast.


hahahaha

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