Monday, June 12, 2006

Corn on the Cob on the menu at Camp David Council

President Bush, Vice President Cheney and other top advisors kicked off a two day war council today at Camp David to discuss, among other things, the future of American involvement in the war in Iraq and the responsibilities of Iraq's neighbors in the Middle East.

This council comes as Republicans try to gain momentum for the war in Iraq in the face of continued Democratic criticism. Senate Democratic leader and major bag of wind Harry Reid said in yet another long speech in Washington that Americans "deserve a plan from the president, one that provides our troops with an exit strategy from this seemingly intractable conflict and I am going to keep talking until they get it. And if they don't get it, I'll talk more and I'll use more big words like intractable. Then, I'll talk more. Damnit,I like pickles!"

A poll released today showed that less than one third of all Americans approve of the President's handling of the war. This is a record low approval rating for the President. A related poll showed that 80% of Americans approve of pickles with a startling 68% preferring the kosher gherkin variety. A final poll showed that less than 3% of Americans know who Harry Reid is and can identify him in a photograph.

Speaking from a press conference at Camp David this afternoon, the President had this to say, "I keep reminding the American people that the stakes are worth it, it is worth it to help Iraq succeed. It is worth it to have a democracy in the Middle East. Just today a brand new Duncan Donuts opened up in Baghdad. I don't care how much that major bag of wind Harry Reid talks, pretty soon their will be pickles in Baghdad. That's what I call prevailing"

When reporters asked President Bush what his feeling were concerning slain Al-quaeda leader Abu Mossad al-Zarqawi's replacement, President Bush replied, "I haven't met the guy yet, but I'm sure he sucks. We'll be planting a big red, white and blue foot in his ass."

When reporters questioned Bush as to why Vice President Cheney was so grumpy the President laughed and replied, "Oh don't mind him. He's just p.o.'d because his wife accidentally washed his white shirts in the same load as a pair of her red underpants."

Vice President Cheney denied the allegations saying, "That's not true. I'm just really, really bored. All of this talk about pickles has put me in the mood for a Harvey Wallbanger."

When asked what was on the schedule for the council for the rest of day, the President replied, "We are going to eat corn on the cob and then we are going to do some swimming."

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