Thursday, October 12, 2006

People- People Who Need People should Shut the F--- Up!

Streisand fans who shelled out $250 a ticket to see the Diva perform in the first tour since her farewell concert twelve years ago, were shocked to find that many of their favorite songs had been changed to accommodate Ms. Streisand's liberal political views. One fan, who became annoyed by Barbara's political ranting began to heckle her and told her to "Shut up and sing."

Displaying typical grace and class, Streisand told the fan to "Shut the F--- Up!"

Below are some of the updated lyrics that fans were treated to at last night's Madison Square Gardens concert:

Don't tell me not to shriek,
Just sit and putter,
Sadaam Hussein's Not a Fascist Dictator
He just a ball of butter.
Don't bring around a war mongering President
To rain on my parade.
Don't tell me not to fly--
I've simply got to.
There were no WMDs
We've all been lied to.
Don't' bring around any common sense
To rain on my parade!

The WMDs were all a lie
George Bush has modified your memories
Of the way we were

People-Conservative Republican People
Are the blood thirstiest, warmongering people in the world.
We're children, George Bush likes to murder children
And yet letting our grown-up pride
Hide all the need inside,
Acting more like children
Than the innocent children George Bush likes to murder while they sleep.

Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you see me?
Papa can you find me in the night?
Papa are you near me?
Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you help me not be frightened?
Papa, Bush was the one who pulled out the UN weapons inspectors.
Papa, there was no Uranium purchased in Africa.
Papa, the people of Iraq will never elect a secular government.
Papa, George W. Bush invaded Iraq to out due his Papa.

At this point in the concert, Barbara's Papa miraculously called out from the heavens, "Barbara stop your sniveling rhetoric."
To which Barbara replied, "Shut the F--- Up!"

In a press conference the morning following the concert, President Bush was asked by reporters what he thought of Ms. Streisand's updated concert lyrics. President Bush replied, "You know what I really hate. I hate it when celebrities have farewell concerts and then turn right around and go on tour again. First it was Diana Ross, then Celina Dion and now Barbara Streisand. Seriously, once you've farewelled, its time to Shut the F--- Up!"

Reporters asked Ms. Streisand if she had any reply to the President's comments, to which she answered, "He should Shut the F--- Up!"

Streisand's husband, Actor and Aamoco stud muffin James Brolin told reporters , "I fully support my wife in her singing career and her political views and if I didn't she would just tell me to Shut the F--- Up!"

Reporters asked Ms. Streisand if she had any reply to her husband's comments, to which she answered, "He should really Shut the F--- Up!"

As of press time, calls to Ms. Streisand made by BabyOwls were not returned, but her publicist said that she has released a statement saying that I should "Shut the F--- Up!"

So, on that note, why don't we all Shut the F--- Up!


Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, if Ms. Streisand passed gas, it would be news.

Of course, they'd probably sell tickets for it...

I know, I know, I'll shut the f--- up

Jo said...

You're too funny. You crack me up.

Maybe Ms. Streisand should shut the f--- up. I think she's past her "best by" date anyway.

Sara's Varolo Village said...


I was honestly going to put up a "Josie, are you there post?" if your blog didn't reappear by tomorrow. I need my daily dose of your not so boring blog.

Sara :)

Anonymous said...

Oh on earth PAYS to see Barbara Streisand?

Anonymous said...


In the words of Schwartzie, who used to fill in for Streisand when she sang in the clubs in Manhattan, "When is she going to catch on that she's old and it's time to retire the voice?" I wonder if she meant "speech" as well? LOL!!!

mist1 said...

Who heckles her? I mean, really.

Anonymous said...

Hey.. it's your brother! I think this is the first time we've both made fun of the same thing:

So, now it's on. How 'bout this... On Monday we both make fun of Madonna adopting the Malawi kid and see who gets the better response. We on?!

Sara's Varolo Village said...

O.K. Sid, you're on. Even though, I see you have launched a preemptive strike by posting a link to your piddling little journal on my popular and well read blog.

See ya Monday sucker!

Anonymous said...

Yea!!! Now I have a reason to live for Monday!!!!

Sara's Varolo Village said...

You are free to enter the contest also Yo, but be prepared to be cut down and I am already chuckling to myself about what I'm going to write.


Anonymous said...

I don't think I'd stand a chance. I knew it when Sid had Bab's say, "you little buttwipe". How could I ever compete against such creative dialogue? ROFL!!!

Then, there's your creative lyric skills!!! No. NO. I think I shall stick to making fun of the Poop meeting the Dalai Lama complete with cartoon for Monday. muuuhahhaaaaa.....

Anonymous said...

It's on. It's on like a crouton. I will not be held responsible for what flies forth from my intelligent typing fingers.

Oh, yeah, and...


Be there or be a rhombus.

Sidster out.

Anonymous said...


Sid says you're scum

MOM :)

Anonymous said...

Sid says you're scum
MOM :)"

ROFL!!!! The tears are pouring down the cheeks!!!! I think I'll advertise the showdown Monday morning on all three of my web sites. muuhahahahaaa.....

Anonymous said...

Barbara's so cute...

She thinks she's talented...awwwwww... ;)


ZZZZZZZ said...

I am totally against this! I mean, ok so she has a lot of liberal political views which I'm sure her fans know about, but there is no reason to change all her songs now just because of that. Those people bought those tickets to hear the songs they loved... not political bullshit.

I am done ranting now and so I shall shut the F--- up!

JR's Thumbprints said...

I'm all for changing the lyrics to songs... only if it's Wierd Al Yankovich, and not Streisand.