Allen in Deep Macaca

Senator George Allen R-VA met today with members of the US Indian Political Action Committee(IPAC) , to discuss ways for Allen to the mend fences with the Indian community following offensive remarks Allen made to a rival candidate's employee.

S.R. Sidarth , a staffer of Allen's democratic opponent Jim Webb, was taping the Old Dominion Senator at a speech Friday night. Allen pointed Sidarth out to the audience and said, "Let's give a welcome to Macaca here. Welcome to America and the real world of Virginia" Sidarth, though of Indian descent, is a native of Fairfax, Virginia.

Allen claims that he made up the word "Macaca" as an offhand reference to Sidarth's nickname "Mohawk." Unbeknownst to Allen, Macaca is the name of a genus of Monkey which includes the famous Macaque.

Sonjay Puri, a businessman and director IPAC, said that the group will be working with Allen, "We're sure that George Allen did not mean to refer to Sidarth as a genus of monkey. Sidarth is just very sensitive due to his coincidental macaque like appearance."

An apologetic Allen expressed to reporters how he had been eager to meet with the Indian group, "When IPAC phoned me, I jumped at the chance to meet with them. I've always wanted to know what that dot is for. I drove right on down to their offices for a sit down. You know they sit at desks just like the rest of us. I was worried that I would have to take off my shoes and sit on some sort of flying carpet. Sometimes my feet smell when its hot out."

Reporters later found out that their had been some initial disagreement over the meeting place. Senator Allen told the press that the IPAC directors wanted to meet at a popular Indian restaurant for lunch, "Just the smell of that stuff makes me nauseous. When they asked me to go to the restaurant, I told them no thanks, I ate a big bowl of puke for breakfast."

When asked later if he found the meeting to be productive, Allen answered, "I don't know. They wouldn't give me a dot if that's what you're asking. They did make me promise not to call them macacas anymore."

When it comes to nonsense word gaffes, Allen is in good company. Over the years, many politicians have made up silly words only to find out later that they had committed some major foreign language faux pas.

-President Gerald Ford jokingly referred to the Prime Minister of Italy as a "Dipsey Do Do." He later was informed that "Dipsey Do Do" is Italian for "Excuse me, you have just dropped sour cream and onion down your bra."

- President Bill Clinton once said "Thanks Shnukums" to a Swedish Airline Flight Attendant who brought him a Whiskey Sour. Clinton looked on in surprise as the flight attendant took off running down the aisle. He would later find out that "Shnukums" is Swedish for, "Would you like to look at my shingles?"

-A gracious President Carter greeted the Japanese Prime Minister upon his arrival at the White House. The President rehearsed saying in Japanese, "I hope you have a comfortable stay in the Lincoln Bedroom." However, he bungled the dialect and shocked the Prime Minister and his wife by saying, "Toilet paper is forbidden in the Lincoln bedroom."

- On a diplomatic mission to English speaking New Zealand, Ted Kennedy had been directed to say to the President of New Zealand, "We look forward to forming new mutually beneficial trade agreements with New Zealand." However, due to the consumption of one too many little bottles of airlines booze, Kennedy slurred his words slightly, accidentally saying, "Where the hell do you keep the women around here?"